Pat Byrne, owner of Byrne's Pub, always sends out a bunch of emails, most of which are stupid, but I thought this was a good one:
As a lifetime Westsider, I am sorry to inform you that Byrne's cannot be accredited by the WSDBA (Westside Dive Bar Association) until such time as you eliminate scooter parking and have at least three felonies of at least the F-2 variety inside or adjacent to the premises within a six month period. In fact, there are no accredited dive bars within one mile of the City of Grandview. If you want to review an establishment which has met the prerequisites you might consider a visit to the Big Nickel on Sullivant Avenue. Oh, and don't ride your scooter down Sullivant Avenue, ever.