Monday, February 25, 2008

TAKE A F*CKING CAB...

Im growing tired quickly of doing OMVI cases... TAKE A F*CKING CAB. Folks... Im not even gonna start with the "worst-case scenario" stuff (7 years in jail for vehicular homicide, terrible injuries, etc), how 'bout best case scenario...

Typical Case: Pulled over for 1st OMVI, refuses tests, etc.... No injuries, property damage, etc...
LICENSE SUSPENSION: 1 year, automatic - EVEN if you are not convicted of OMVI, with a refusal I cant even get you work priviledges for 30 days... Thats 30 days of doing what you shoulda done... TAKE A F*CKING CAB... For most people the license suspension is the part that affects them the most... Usually its just work privileges and thats it... Not even grocery store is allowed... Reinstatement fee: In the mid $400


JAIL TIME: Usually "only" 3 days, not including how long it takes for your broke ass to get bailed out. Yes, they will most likely let you go to "party school", 3 days locked in Holiday Inn or something... Cost: $300 - 500... Usually you still have to do this if I get you a plea to a reckless operation or a "physical control" violation...
FINES: usually in the $400 - 500 range.... plus court costs, usually another $100 - 150...
POINTS: 6 points for OMVI, 4 for reckless operation, zero for Physical control.... However, insurance companies know Physical Control is "DUI - lite" so dont think you are going to get off easy there... COST: Call your agent and inquire... Id say minimum 500 - 600 a year...
LEGAL FEES: Ahhh, the fun part.... If you are reading this, you have at least one friend who is an attorney... One who doesnt own his own law firm, so he cant just give away the milk, etc.... So lets just quote standard prices and then maybe you can remind me of how the time (insert childhood favor or great birthday present here, NHL for Genesis was the Sh*t) - (keep in mind these are rough estimates for a refusal first DUI, no injuries, etc)... I normally charge $150 an hour but like to flat rate DUI cases, cuz lets face it, if I dont get my money up front Im screwed anyway...
Flat fee (up to trial) - $2000 - 3000, this includes the suppression motion I wont win, about a billion begging letters to the prosecutor and most likely 2-3 trips to court, minimum
Trial: Depends but I usually tack on another $1000 for the trial...
GUARENTEE (?): All this, I cant even guarentee you wont get convicted of a DUI, think about it... theyve got a video of you swerving, you probably told the officer "I only had one beer"... and he's gonna say you REEK of alcohol (it says "strong odor of alcohol" even when it shouldnt)....
Look, I know some of the police stops are BS, and I know you only had a few drinks... But its a F*CKING $7 - 10 cab ride from most places you are at anyway... Or pay $1000 to the State, $2000 to me, and let your insurance carrier shake you down...
TAKE A F*CKING CAB... I'll take you to your car in the morning...


4 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:44 AM

    Rock, sorry to steal your dot.nerd thunder...

    ReplyDelete
  2. sounds like you should be working for the other side.

    By the way, killing a person is probably something that lasts forever. I'm sure the intent of minimizing it was to go into the other facts, which is fine, but nothing compares to it.

    Save the recklessness for GTA.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous10:39 PM

    The entire purpose was to explain what the "best case" scenario... because I think most people dont realize how even an "uneventful" DUI effects your everyday life...

    If people cant understand the other scenario's then they need help I cant give...

    ReplyDelete
  4. hey anonymous put down the cheese burger and sign in you lazy ass.

    ReplyDelete