Translation...

Here's what Andy's "on about"...

Hey Fellas What you upto? I’m here, going loopy being at home, bored. I STILL haven’t gotten any unemployment benefit yet, but apparently it’s on its way…should be around £300 as they’ll back date it to the day I landed.I have found a host of jobs, but they don’t come open for around another month. Heard nothing from ESRI, but do have an interview down in West Sussex (directly south of London) on Monday. I’m flying from Newcastle to Gatwick and back in one day. This job pays well, really well in fact as it includes a car, but ironically it’s one of the ones I fancy least when i read the job description. It’s for a GIS firm named Tenet (www.tenetsystems.co.uk), but the fact they throw a car into the mix makes me wonder if it involves a lot of driving. I’m in a dilemma because being at home with no money is horrible, but I don’t just want to do a ‘florida’ and take the first job that comes along and then realise it’s not what I want. I called about a job today in Cambridge and when i spoke to the person she said she went to Ohio Wesleyan and worked with Shorei Elhami of Delaware county until 1997, whom I know. That contact sounds promising and may lead to something. It sounds like a nice job, in a really nice place, but the money isn’t the best, which may sound shallow but it’s in such a swanky place you need good money.Anyway, I’ve heard NOTHING from Melanie…not a sausage. I have no idea if she’s at home crying that i‘m gone, or out fucking the football team. Wouldn’t surprise me if Jewboy is back on the scene. Like I said I wonder if sitting around here all day doesn’t cause me to ‘think too deeply’. If I do reminisce about the good old times I always try to remember that if I came back we’d just argue again. I need to keep busy and am doing some voluntary GIS for my Cousin. You know the record label owning one? He’s trying to open a ‘media centre’ in Sunderland (basically an office building for media related companies) but I’m doing some GIS to look at the neighbourhood around his site. Then he reckons other ‘media centres’ may be interested and I could make a name for myself doing it. I think he’s just flattering me to get some free info. If I do get another job, without a car, it’ll most likely be in another part of the country and so this gave me a plan. We all know how expensive it is to move, including van hire, U-haul etc. then after you move you often go buy friggin tables and stuff. Last night I saw a Daihatsui HiJet van for sale for £250, old as crap…but only a little one litre and cheap as hell to run. I thought I could buy one and own it for 6-8months to ferry crap around in. attached is a picture, see…not to big, not to small. Stupid, definitely, but cool as hell for moving and the dog too.

Went out with cousin Sarah and her fat friend Gemma the other night. We won the pub quiz and they took me to the ‘crappest nightclub in Europe’. Klute was the 2nd crappest, until the crappest one burnt down. Anyway Andy the Ohioan came out and met the local posh totty that comprises most of Durham students population. After a few nice pints of John Smiths best bitter for only £1.97 a pint and a late night cheese laden snack we walked to the cab-stand but on the way met some more rah-rah Durham students. You know the type….prince William lookers, with rugby shirts and their collars up, think they’re tougher than the local northerners because they have more money. Anyway, some prick called tarquin or Quentin or spencer or something started laying on the verbal, and pointed one too many fingers at my cousin Sarah. Being the true northern girl she is SHE went after HIM. Not really sure what he had in mind but I didn’t like the bastard anyway so intervened and kicked him in the balls fall wack! His friend in a nice pink rugby shirt came over and I told him he’d get the same if he didn’t take his friend home. I needn’t have worried as Sarah threw her bottle of coke off the tossers head just to get the message through. By now Durhams finest had seen enough on the CCTV and decided to role in with blue lights blazing. I was a little concerned here as I’d managed to calmly get some distance between myself and the pigs, but the called me back.

Anyway, long story short…they’d watched it all on the CCTV and blamed that initial pointing prick and told him so. He protested and told them so, and because he was being such a prick to them they cuffed his hands behind his back and carted him off ‘down town’ before ushering Sarah and I into a taxi (oh, and Gemma who’d leg it and hid round the corner). So final score: Northerners 1- 0 Southern Fairies.

Right. Off the watch Southampton vs. Newcastle. Need to win this one, Bobby has been getting some stick form the fans…..watch out for the white hankerchieves!

Andy

PS. Adam, where did you road trip to?