Plan to play? Sign here and don't screw up

Here's an excerpt from a ESPN.com story on student athlete codes of conduct letters. Essentially Wojciechowski says they should be put in simple terms that athletes can understand... here's his version.

Dude,

You are so busted if you're caught boozing it up, tokin' on some doobage, chomping on space cakes, or getting faced or crunk. If some narc turns you in, you'll have the Five-O and the media on you faster than an H2 goes through a tank of unleaded.

And don't even think of laying a Benjamin on a game. Remember what happens to that guy with the chainsaw in "Scarface"? That's you if the feds find out.

Bars and frat parties are cool, just as long as you don't use your fists to do exploratory surgery on some wiseass Sigma Chi who keeps reminding you of the seven sacks you gave up against OU. And never, ever trust a hottie who carries a team photo in her purse.

Here's the deal on studying and GPAs: no effort to graduate, no Saturday football date.

I don't care if 50 Cent himself offers you something in the cash variety, don't take it. If Coach or the NCAA fuzz find out, you'll probably lose your free ride and be bagging groceries with the hippies at Whole Foods.

And don't forget, respect your teammates and your coaches, respect women, respect your teachers, respect your parents and, most of all, respect yourself.

Only one last thing to do:

Sign here.

ESPN.com - COLUMNIST - Wojciechowski: Sign here and don't screw up