Friday, February 04, 2005

(Tecmo?) Super Bowl

I might be down for some Super Bowl chillin' at your place Seth. I might also be down for some Tecmo Super Bowl chillin. I'm already in my 3rd season at home. After winning Super Bowls with the Bengals and Giants (LT had 64 sacks) I've started a season with Detriot. Barry Sanders has over 1,000 yards after two games. I think it is safe to say he is the bomb shizzy. Anyhooch, I'm down for some Risk if anyone else is. Also, here's an email showing how smartful lawers really is.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July 15th

Q: What year?

A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: Are you sexually active?

A: No, I just lie there.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead a the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?


Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

1 comment:

  1. Those quotes were sweet... I'm jealous of your tecmo bowl success too. I played about 15 minutes with KC against the bills and I struggled to dominate, I think I've lost my touch... Who am I kidding I never was great at that game, I remember Troy ripping my heart out one weekend when he beat me in the supper bowl after playing an entire season at his house. Anyway, once you and Eddie are officially lawyers, lawyer jokes are going to mean so much more.