I had my works chrimbo party last night, christ it was bad. It was a last miunte thing, so we could only get this complete Sh!thole place. It's was one of those Do's where there was other companies there too, so i was hopeful of meeting some classy, young urban professional ladies. You know, the one's who earn money, and suck cock just because they like to, not because they need to. Anyway, i wouldn't have wanted ANY of those bitches there last night to suck my cock, they'd probably eat it. this is for two reasons:
1) the food was so bad - the soup was made from powder. i could tell because it was still powder. or perhaps the chef was just into a bad bag of gianluca vialli, who knows.
2) Fat lasses will eat anything. Christ! none of them were below 250lbs! it was like a fat, ugly, munter convention!
Anyway, to drown my sorrows me and the Jungle cats went clubbing and used our local knowledge to determine that the best place for high-class, clean, shaven pussy would be to avoid the local skanks and hit on the students. Student birds in newcastle are a good bet for lads like us. Were not heavily tatoo'd and quite easy to understand when we talk, so have an immediate advantage over some of my Geordie brethren. Also, they're often from 'down south' and posh as newcastle has an old, historic and good uni...think poor mans cambridge.
So we go to this club to find these posh, niave, young middens and what are we greeted with? The fooking Newcastle uni rugby team doing a pull up battle with the fookin newcastle uni rowing team!!
Fook me! two groups of absolute twats who i would love to do a dime-bag to, except that they have bigger guns (of the bicep variety) than my whole upper torso. And this was after i'd paid for the pleasure of getting in to the place! Needless to say little Andy stayed indoors last night and doesn't have an new friends to buy christmas presents for just yet. Perhaps the big official company wide party in London next friday may prove a better hunting ground.
For those of you who care, i am using that new Mozilla firefox browser with a normal dial up connection and it's as fast as cable!! it processes graphics much faster and so only when you are downloading files do you realise you're on a 56kps connection.
I see from Peter North's Bio that like E-lo one night, he passed the POV....point of no return.
Right, i'm as rough as a badgers arsehole today and am off to turn on the radio and listen to newcastle hump portsmouth.....i hope.