NBA Rundown

Enough talk about this stupid election, let's talk about something important. For example, the NBA season is about to start up and I have no idea who to pick for my fantasy team. Let's see... there's Smoosh Parker, Vin "Boozehound" Baker, Jerry Slackhouse, Kobe "no means yes" Bryant, Shawn Kemp and Raweed Wallace. But who to pick? I could take Kevin Garnett... nah, too black. Mike Bibby... nah, too white. Shaq... nah, too diesel. Yao... nah, too top heavy. I saw him play last year, and his head is honestly the size of a compact car. Dirk Diggler... nah, too krautish. Darko... nah, too Darko. Maybe LeBron will be the answer. I mean, he's got the experience (19 years old), the education (2.1 high school GPA), and in high school even his mom gave him a hummer. The only person I know whose mom gave them a hummer in highschool is Wendel, and that was after a full bottle of kiwi-strawberry Mad Dog. Anyhooch, LeBronsizzle is gonna blow up this year like an earthbound JDAM headed straight for Bhagdad.

Ass clap